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Hey everybody, we’re all gonna get laid!

May 30, 2008
Filed under: cities — bcd @ 8:15 am

Houston is handing out self-congratulatory blowjobs this morning after Kiplinger.com reported it the No. 1 city in the nation for, “beat-the-heat tunnels and loop-the-loop highways, world-class museums and wiry cowboys, humidity that demands an ice-cold martini and the biggest damn liquor store on the planet.”  whooopie!

look, i love my city, i do.  i have no intention of ever moving, which is why i want all you assholes to stay where you are.  i don’t want any CA douche nozzles showing up and ruining the fun.  all you out of work auto plant rednecks head somewhere else; we have enough rednecks as it is, even if you would just be pseudo-rednecks.

what makes me “meh” this story is that this is no different than in the 70s.  the last time we had an energy crisis and gas/oil prices soared, Houston was also top of the pops.  i remember going to school and everyday some new kid from PA or OH showed up, their parents moving b/c Houston had tons of jobs…all due to the energy crunch.  i also remember the 80s, when oil got cheap, tax revenue fell and no one wanted to live here.  suburban sprawl took over, white flight, and a crime way engulfed the city.  businesses moved/consolidated and middle management got laid off by the thousands.

this is all just a cycle kids.  get used to it!


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